Children are "aquadextrous"

(Definition: Possessing the ability

to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with their toes.)

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies

and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 4 year old's voice is louder than

200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

Baseballs make marks on ceilings

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

When using the ceiling fan as a bat,

you have to throw the baseball up a few times

before getting a hit.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double-pane)

does not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear a toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh",

it's already too late.

Every mother knows which side the bread is buttered on -

the side the kids drop on the floor.

When buttered, a tile floor becomes a skating rink.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably don't want to know what that smell is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

Plastic toys do not like hot ovens.

Quiet does not necessarily mean all is well.

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